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11/07/2007 11:41 PM (#6) | Rating:      Click the stars to vote!
on IRC
sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I’m in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don’t fucking laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I’m serious.
sweet17: I don’t get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I’m wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It’s kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren’t one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I’m not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren’t you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren’t
sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKSHIT!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What’s your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I’m looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I’ve lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn’t you.
bloodninja: I’ll be damned if it ain’t!
sweet17: You don’t look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy….
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won’t get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You’ve done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can’t believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
bloodninja: You’d break both of his legs.
sweet17: You’re a fucking wanker!
sweet17: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I’m sorry.
sweet17: No you aren’t
bloodninja: You’re right. I’m not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I’m done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I’m sorry.
sweet17: I’m putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I’ll eat your kitty
sweet17: You’ll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I’d eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I’m not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don’t know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I’m afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn’t that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to
sweet17: I didn’t say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can’t be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It’s my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you’ll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh …going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: …still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple…
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: …going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
One comment |
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10/21/2009 11:04 PM by Dekar (#1416) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on Jabber / Google Talk
ozzapoo: Hey
ozzapoo: All the computers on the school network just started playing some dos-like music
ozzapoo: In sync
ozzapoo: An it even happens during the login screen
ozzapoo: Wow
ozzapoo: Any ideas what it is? Lol
ozzapoo: Lol
ozzapoo: All the computers playing mario song
ozzapoo: Hilarious
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12/18/2009 11:08 PM by Bartimaeus (#1429) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on some other network, wc3edit.net
009.12.18 - 14:03:33) ChatBot: Error: Unknown command: /afk
(2009.12.18 - 14:03:36) ChatBot: Error: Unknown command: /Away
(2009.12.18 - 14:03:38) ChatBot: Error: Unknown command: /away
(2009.12.18 - 14:03:41) ChatBot: Error: Unknown command: /brb
(2009.12.18 - 14:03:43) ChatBot: Error: Unknown command: /dnd
(2009.12.18 - 14:03:45) ChatBot: Error: Unknown command: /cry
(2009.12.18 - 14:03:47) ChatBot: Error: Unknown command: /sad
(2009.12.18 - 14:03:51) ChatBot: Error: Unknown command: /mad
(2009.12.18 - 14:03:52) ChatBot: Error: Unknown command: /error
(2009.12.18 - 14:03:56) ChatBot: Error: Missing username.
(2009.12.18 - 14:03:59) (Aardvark): ...
One comment |
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11/10/2007 4:17 AM (#13) | Rating:  Click the stars to vote!
on IRC
I can't hear you over the roar of how AWESOME I am. -Bartimaeus, now known as Selvanus.
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11/27/2007 4:08 AM (#22) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on IRC
<DeathStar> i have to flick my balls so the cum comes out
<DeathStar> fuck wrong channel
<DeathStar> ignore that please
<Draebor> haha
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09/24/2012 2:49 AM by UndeadxAssassin (#1502) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on Web, wc3edit chat
(22:46:55) Nastasha: I have a vagina = I know nothing
(22:47:19) Bartimaeus: o.o
(22:47:38) Bartimaeus: How would people even know...
(22:47:59) Bartimaeus: This may be a little sexist, but I assume everyone is male until directly stated otherwise.
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07/07/2008 4:37 AM (#61) | Rating:  Click the stars to vote!
on some other network, Xfire
tehdekar: bushido is kinda crazy
Bartimaeus of Uruk: Yeah.
tehdekar: I love when he tries to correct others english
Bartimaeus of Uruk: rofl
Bartimaeus of Uruk: Yeah, that's funny.
tehdekar: and totally fails himself
Bartimaeus of Uruk: Then he messes it up.
Bartimaeus of Uruk: :D
Bartimaeus of Uruk: lol
tehdekar: seriously... his english isn't even decent
tehdekar: -.-
Bartimaeus of Uruk: yeah.
Bartimaeus of Uruk: lol
Bartimaeus of Uruk: I love to do that.
tehdekar: correcting other IS fun
Bartimaeus of Uruk: I sometimes will purposely spell something wrong while he's in chat.
Bartimaeus of Uruk: and he'll try to correct it.
Bartimaeus of Uruk: and then I'll laugh at him.
Bartimaeus of Uruk: :D
Bartimaeus of Uruk: lol
tehdekar: who isn't annoyed by others who are like "lol you don't know how to spell that"
tehdekar: etc
Bartimaeus of Uruk: lol
tehdekar: he just told me that his b-day is in a month and 4 days
tehdekar: who cares?
tehdekar: omg?
tehdekar: where's the block button?
Bartimaeus of Uruk: lol
Bartimaeus of Uruk: ROFL
Bartimaeus of Uruk: eheheh
Bartimaeus of Uruk: that's great.
Bartimaeus of Uruk: lol
Bartimaeus of Uruk: I want to post that in the jokes section, :D
tehdekar: post it on open-bash.org
Bartimaeus of Uruk: lol
Bartimaeus of Uruk: k
tehdekar: he'll probably kill
tehdekar: me
Bartimaeus of Uruk: :D
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01/16/2011 2:34 AM (#1475) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on some other network, wc3edit.net
(19:33:10) GeorgeMots: I once got so hammered i woke up the next morning wearing a girls underwear and my face was covered in pasta
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08/04/2013 3:53 AM (#1525) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on some other network, wc3edit.net chat
(22:51:12) UndeadxAssassin: Practice makes merfect ;o
(22:51:14) UndeadxAssassin: uh
(22:51:17) UndeadxAssassin: perfect*
(22:51:35) UndeadxAssassin: You can see I don't give afvice often ;o
(22:51:40) UndeadxAssassin: ^ Point proven
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07/23/2010 9:14 PM (#1451) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on Web, wc3edit.net
(11:23:57) xkiska: OMFG LANAYA U MADE ME DIE WITHOUT SAVING YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT I FUCKING HATE U THE KITTEN WAS ABOUT TO GET A BIG KITTEN AND GET A WIFE SO STFU U DUMBDFUCK KTHX, I RLLY WANTED THAT KITTEN GO TO HELL U STUPID DUMBASS WHO IS A FUCKING LOWLIFE MOFO, SHUT THE FUCK UP N00B.
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